Pure Unadulterated YGO Humor!
by DivineQueenYeiweh
Summary: Pure humor! Silly adventures such as True or Dare, funny home videos, and other hilarious tales! Rated for some mature content. Or not... Has yaoi in later chapters, be warned.
1. Japan's Funniest Kaiba

Chapter 1- Japan's Funniest Kaiba.

Atem said:

"Yugi are you bored? Because I'm bored."

"I'm bored too. What do you want to do."

"Let's try watching that thing you like to call TV."

Yugi flipped on the TV, which featured Japan's Funniest Home Videos. Atem stated:

"Hey, this looks like a good idea. Why don't we find something funny to film. I would like to get something juicy on Seto Kaiba!"

"I don't think he would like that Atem…"

"What's the harm? It's only something to do to pass the time. Plus, we could always just give the money to him if he complains. C'mon, let's do it! I dare you!"

"No fair! You know I never back down from a dare! Fine…let me get the camera…"

Yugi got a video camera and handed it to Atem. Atem then laughed and said:

"I just want to see what kind of secret things Kaiba does when we aren't looking…"

Atem and Yugi went to Kaiba's mansion. Yugi gave Atem a boost so that he could climb up a tree so that Atem could see into Seto Kaiba's bedroom. Atem pointed the camera to find that Seto was already in his bedroom. Kaiba looked right and left, then opened his closet and pulled out a pink teddy bear. Atem thought to himself:

"Gold!"

Kaiba looked right and left again to make sure there was no one looking, then he cuddled with the pink teddy bear and cooed:

"I love my teddy, and my teddy loves me!"

It took all the strength that Atem had not to laugh. He thought to himself:

"MORE GOLD!"

Seto fondled the pink teddy bear and made cutesy noises. Atem silently snickered to himself. He then caught on camera Kaiba hugging the teddy bear so hard that the head popped off. Kaiba then wailed and yelled:

"TEDDY! WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME…!"

Seto then pulled a blue blankie out of the bottom of the bed and commented:

"Well…at least I still have my blankie to cuddle with."

Seto laid on the bed and cuddled with the blankie and stated:

"I love my blankie, and my blankie loves me!"

Kaiba then held the blue blankie up to his face and sucked his thumb. Atem ended up falling off of the tree because the limb broke, but he was okay and quickly got out of there before Kaiba found out. When Atem was far enough away, he gave a full bellied laugh and said to Yugi:

"Oh man…you would not believe what I caught Kaiba doing! It was classic!"

"Was he having sex?"

"No…but that would've been some good footage. No…this is even better than catching Kaiba having sex. Let's go to your house and watch the tape!"

Atem, once at Yugi's house, got out the popcorn and popped the video into the VCR. The two had the time of their lives watching Atem's secret footage of Kaiba fondling the teddy and blankie. Yugi agreed with Atem:

"You're right! This is better than catching Kaiba having sex! We should send this in to Japan's Funniest Home Videos!"

"That's more like it!"

Atem rubbed his knuckles on Yugi's forehead. Atem and Yugi sent the tape into Japan's Funniest Home Videos and watched it everyday to see if their video made it. Well it did…but an unexpected person watched the video as well. Kaiba was quite fond of the show and sat down with his brother Mokuba to watch. Mokuba liked to watch the people of Japan do silly things like American's do, and Kaiba enjoyed the embarrassed looks on their faces. But, HE was about to have an embarrassed look on his face. When they played the video of him, he nearly died. Mokuba thought it was hilarious. Kaiba grabbed Mokuba by the collar and demanded:

"Are YOU responsible for this!"

But the TV gave the info for him:

"And we like to thank Yugi and Atem Mutou for sending in this hilarious video! They win our grand prize of 1,000,000 yen for the funniest video we have seen in years!"

(Author's Note: Atem doesn't really have a last name, so I just made it the same as Yugi's. 1,000,000 yen is about 10,000 in US money. Which really isn't that much like a million US. Dollars is.)

Kaiba then had a burning rage that was visible to Mokuba. Mokuba freaked out and ran away. Kaiba exclaimed:

"ATEM!"

There was fire in Kaiba's eyes and in his background. Kaiba then yelled out:

"ATEM! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS! I PROMISE YOU WILL! SETO KAIBA SHALL HAVE HIS REVENGE!"

Uh oh, looks like Seto's anger's kicked in. Tune in for the next chapter as Seto tries to film the Pharaoh doing something funny out of revenge!


	2. Japan's Funniest Atem

Chapter 2- Japan's Funniest Atem:

There were still flames behind Seto Kaiba as he grabbed his camera and prepared to film Atem doing something silly. Kaiba hid behind Yugi's house and waited for Atem to be alone in the bedroom to catch him doing something. Kaiba thought:

"I hope I catch the Pharaoh doing something. His whole name will be shamed once I'm done with him!"

Atem entered the room looking cocky knowing that he sent in the secret footage of Kaiba. But Seto was about to get some juicy footage of his own. Atem had only pajama bottoms on and the long eyelashes that he normally had were gone. Confused, Kaiba kept on filming. Kaiba soon figured out Atem's secret behind the long eyelashes: mascara! Seto ducked behind a bush when he let out a laugh before Atem could notice that he was there. Seto then waited for a while. When he thought it was safe, Kaiba carefully lifted himself and went back to filming Atem. What he caught on video was the hilarity. Atem was in…a school girls' outfit? Wearing a skirt? Atem then spoke out loud:

"I wonder why Yugi doesn't wear this? It's just like what we Egyptians wore back in the day. Except airier…"

Atem dropped his mascara on the floor. The shirt was too short for him, and went he bent over, Kaiba could see he was wearing boxers with little red hearts on it. Atem applied mascara on his eyes and stated:

"I don't see anything wrong with make up. Egyptians wore it all the time…except we used coal instead of this pencil stuff. Plus…it brings out my feminine side…"

Atem fluttered his eyes on the word 'feminine' and Seto had to use all of his strength not to laugh. Atem then started to sing in a girlish voice:

"Aren't I so pretty? Yes, I'm very pretty!"

He even shook his tush to wave the short skirt around exposing the heart boxers every once in a while. Atem then sung in the girlish voice:

"I am a VERY pretty girl!_"_

Seto had to run away, because he couldn't stop himself from laughing. Seto then thought to himself:

"Man…the Pharaoh has some gender issues! I gotta get back there and film more! I MUST have more hilarity!"

Seto ran back to film more. By then Atem had changed back into just the pajama bottoms. Yugi was in there as well. Atem then said randomly:

"I want to have sex with a pig…"

Yugi gave him the weirdest look. Yugi then commented:

"Damn…that was random. And gross!"

"I just wanted to see your reaction. Plus…I can't help it if I'm horny…"

"Oh-kay…too much information. I'm glad you're straight…"

"I wanna hump something…"

"Again…too much information…"

"I want to fooly cooly! I want to…urgh…to the break of dawn! I want to make sweet bare naked love under a full moon!"

Seto had to run away, because not only was he laughing, but also he was bawling at the hilarity. He rubbed his camera and stated:

"Yes my precious…we captured the perfect and oh so sweet revenge that I definitely deserve. But first…I shall show you to Mokuba."

And Mokuba couldn't even breathe because he was laughing so hard. Seto bawled again to see the footage of Atem. And of course Kaiba purposely put his name on the video entry just to spite Atem. Kaiba and Mokuba then watched Japan's Funniest Home Videos to see their video entry. Atem did to because he was now a fan of the show. So, when he saw himself on TV he almost nearly died…again. Yugi could help but to laugh, and Sugoroku didn't show any mercy either. When the TV announced that it was Kaiba that sent in the video, Atem vowed revenge as well. And the rivalry continued between them…never wanting to die.

But, let's direct our attention to another story for the next chapter. Let's see what happens when Ryou gets drunk one night…and the only person there is Atem…in the next chapter of silliness. Hoped you enjoyed! I'm having so much fun and giggles writing this!


	3. Truth or Dare

Author's Note: The internet at my house isn't working (again) so you guys are gonna get the drunken Ryou chapter later. For now…let's see some truth or dare! Will probably be multiple chapters of this!

Chapter 3-Truth or Dare

The gang sat around in a circle in someone's house and was getting ready for a game of truth or dare. There were refreshments on the table and just about everyone from YGO (or at least the main characters) where there. They did a thing to see who would go first. Anzu got the pick somehow. That's when the insanity began…

Anzu began, "I dare…Atem and Jou to…go to the store…and by some condoms…."

Atem asked, "What's a condom?"

Atem looked over at Jou to see that his face had turned beat red. Jou then stated:

"Man, I'm not gonna do that! That's embarrassing!"

Kaiba commented, "What's a matter? Can't take a dare like a MAN!"

"Oh, I'll show YOU who's the King of Dares! C'mon Atem, we got some shoppin' to do!"

Atem stated, "But no one answered my question…"

"I'll tell you what it is at the store…"

Jou pulled Atem by the hand into the nearest store. They gathered their breath and then Jou explained:

"Okay, a condom's a little latex thing that you put over your 'private area' right before you do it…"

"Do what?"  
"Have sex you idiot!"

"Oooooo….why would she make us do something embarrassing like that?"

"Because that, my friend, is the point of the game…"

"And we're supposed to find something like that…in here…?"

The store suddenly looked giant and Atem and Jou sweatdropped. Atem asked:

"Call me naïve, but where are we supposed to start?"

Jou suggested, "Let's go down every aisle until we find it…."

Well, it took them 30 minutes to go down every aisle and they still didn't find what they were looking for. A female service lady walked up to them and asked:

"You boys lost?"

Jou panicked and commented:

"Nah, we're fine ma'am, just doin' a little shoppin'"

Atem commented, "We're looking for a thing called…what was the name again? A condom?"

Jou slapped himself on the head, then proceeded to choke Atem. Jou yelled:

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL HER THAT!"

The service lady commented:

"Well, THOSE are in this glass case by the pharamacy. Here, you need me to open it. A lot of young people steal them so now we have to keep them locked up."

Jou commented, "I bet Anzu knew this and that's why she dared us to do it."

As the lady got the package out, she seemed to have heard Jou and turned to them and asked:

"You two were DARED to get these?"

Atem and Jou nodded. The service lady breathed a sigh of relief and commented:

"Oh good, I thought you two were actually going to use these…"

They exclaimed together, "NNNNOOOOO!"

Jou stated, "Look lady, we're not interested in having sex with out girlfriends…"

Atem continued, "They're teaching me to play a new game called Truth or Dare…"

The service lady spoke, "Oh that silly game! Listen, you know you don't have to do a dare if you don't want to, right boys?"

Jou exclaimed, "Well, I DO! If I don't, I'll never live it down."

The lady handed the box of condoms to Jou and stated:

"Just remember what I said. I for one am glad you two really aren't trying to have premaritial sex. But, even if you were, at least you would have used protection."

Atem commented, "Oh-kay…call me naïve again, but protection from what?"

"STD's silly! And aids…"

"Oh. Duh. I'm so stupid. It's because I'm from a different time…I mean country. Different country."

"Oh, I didn't know that. That would explain it. Well, you boy play safe now. Don't do anything stupid because you were dared to…"

Jou commented, "I think we just did."

Jou and Atem then walked by to the house and laid the box in front of Anzu. Jou commented:

"THERE! Yah happy Mazaki?"

Kaiba asked, "God, what took you two so long?"

"We were talking to a pretty lady…"

Anzu commented, "Typical."

Jou stated, "Now it's MY turn! Truth or Dare Anzu?"

"Truth."

"Have YOU ever had sex before."

The people around her giggled and she blushed. Anzu then exclaimed:

"NO! I'm not a hoe!"

Atem asked, "And when you ask for truth, you have to tell the truth right?"

"Right."

"Okay…I think I get the point of this game. I guess. Man…you people…this game is nothing like what we played in Egypt…"

Kaiba replied, "So, shall we get on with this? And…oh man…do I have a dare for YOU Atem…"

Dun Dun Dun! Wonder what Kaiba-kun is planning to make Atem do? Well, you'll have to read the next chappie to find out!


	4. Hair Gel Mishap

Chapter 4-The Hair Gel Mishap:

Kaiba then stated:

"I dare you…to go and drink out of the toilet PHARAOH!"

Atem commented, "You have a sick mind Kaiba-kun. A VERY sick mind…"

"C'mon, you know the rules. You take a dare, and you gotta do it!"

Atem sighed and went to the nearby toilet. He just realized a little too late that Kaiba had just taken a big crap and forgot to flush. Atem exclaimed:

"UGH! You little nasty!"

Atem then thought:

"But he didn't say I couldn't flush it…"

Atem flushed the toilet, cleaning most of the bowl out. Atem then grabbed the spongy thing near the toilet and cleaned it until it was gleaming. Atem then stated:

"There isn't any way I'm going to drink out of a grimy toilet. Like I said…Kaiba has a sick mind…"

Atem then leaned over to take a gulp, but accidentally turned sideways so that his hair got stuck in the toilet. Atem then accidentally pushed the handle on the toilet, making the suction pull at his hair. Atem screamed in pain.

Kaiba, who was outside, heard him screaming and commented:

"Feh, he couldn't handle it like a man…"

Atem then pushed on the bowl with all of his strength. He finally got his head out of the toilet. Only one problem: his hair was soaking wet and now all squished back on his head. He saw himself in the mirror and commented:

"My hair…my beautiful hair…I gotta get a towel and my hair gel and try to fix this mess…"

Atem opened a fairly large jar of hair gel and got ready to apply it to his hair when he dropped the bottle upside down on his head. Atem exclaimed:

"NNNNNOOOOOOO!"

Atem tried to turn the bottle back over, but the gel wanted to be stupid and plop out in a cylindrical manner. Atem caught most of the blob in his hands. The hair gel left a big snail like trail on his already messed up hair. Atem got a comb to try to comb it up, but he got more hair gel on the comb. And, by the time it was done, Atem's hair was completely smoothed back like a cowlick and it suck up in the back at the bottom. The blond bangs also were smoothed back, making Atem look like a royal dork. Excuse the bad pun. Embarrassed, Atem stop trying to fix his hair so that he wouldn't make it worse. He thought:

"I'll just buy more hair gel later after Truth or Dare and wash this crap out…"

Atem, with his head bowed low, walked out of the bathroom to expose his messed up hairdo. Kaiba was bawling his head off and he commented:

"Man, this is even funnier than Atem wearing mascara and a skirt."

"You shut up baka! No one even needs to know about that!"

Anzu asked, "What happened to you anyway?"

"Well after I cleaned the toilet because SOMEONE here forgot to FLUSH, I bent over and fell in the toilet…"

Most everyone was laughing by that time, except maybe Anzu. She commented:

"Man, that's horrible!"

Jou then asked, "Who wants to go next?"

Shizuka answered, "I'll go big brother…"

"Okay…but you ask Truth or Dare. I don't want someone to dare you to do something nasty with some people in here."

"Okay…uh…Truth or Dare Anzu…"

"Dare!"

Jou stated, "Oooo! Dare her to read some hentai magazines!"

Anzu slapped him and yelled, "Pervert!"

Honda stated, "C'mon…it's a dare. You accepted it. You have to do it!"

And Anzu looked on in disguised as she read the first hentai of her life.


	5. Anzu's horrible singing voice

Chapter 5-Anzu's horrible singing voice:

Atem hadn't learned his lesson from the times that he experimented with the video camera. So, of course, he wanted to film someone doing something funny…again. Will he ever learn his lesson? Apparently not. Anywho, his unlucky target this time was Anzu Mazaki. He got the camera and invited Yugi along for the fun by saying:

"Hey, you wanna see what Anzu does behind closed doors?"

Yugi then went into a dream-like trance, accompanied with a nose bleed. Atem looked at him and said:

"You know, for an innocent looking boy, you sure are perverted. Not that it's entirely your fault. But let's see what kind of dirt we can dish up this time."

Yugi followed Atem, floating off of the ground with hearts around his head. They then arrived at Anzu's little home. Since it only had one floor, all Yugi and Atem had to do was hide in the bushes while they filmed the bedroom. Yes, I know, it's always in the bedroom. Anyhow, Anzu may be a good dancer…but that doesn't mean that she can sing. And Yugi and Atem were about to find out just how bad her singing could be. She skipped into the room and blurted out a song by Britney Spears. Yugi and Atem immediately covered their ears, but Atem had a hard time of it since he was also filming her horrible singing. Atem exclaimed:

"AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH! IT BURNS MY EARS!"

Even though Atem was screaming, Anzu couldn't hear it since the song was loud and her singing was louder. She then let off a screech that was so loud and horrible, it broke the lens on the camera. Atem commented:

"Dammit!"

But then, Anzu turned off the music and stopped singing. Yugi and Atem then breathed a sigh of relief. Anzu then commented to herself:

"Man…it's time to hit the sack. Let me change first…"

Yugi then thought, "OH YEAH!"

Anzu then proceeded to slowly take her shirt off. Yugi then asked Atem:

"Hey! Are you getting this!"

Atem then showed Yugi how Anzu's voice broke the camera lens, but then he commented:

"But I think I could edit that out!"

Atem then proceeded to film Anzu's private strip show. And when I say strip show…I MEAN strip show. Anzu was walking around in her pink panties and pink bra that showed her 'goodies.' She then proceeded to privately…pole dance? WTF! Atem and Yugi LOVED that, and they were panting like the dogs they were being. Yugi then stated:

"Ah, so THAT's how she's earning her money to go to New York!"

Atem commented, "Hubba hubba."

(The next day…)

Atem and Yugi decided to keep this tape for their own private enjoyment. So, the next day at school when they saw Anzu, they pretended like nothing happened. But then, Anzu caught sight of the show bulletin board that had a flyer that read:

"School talent show…sign up now!"

Anzu then stated:

"Oooo! I want to sign up! I could dance…or…I could sing!"

Atem and Yugi exclaimed in unison, "NNNNNOOOOOO!"

Anzu gave them a funny look. They pulled her aside and explained, which Atem going first:

"Look Anzu, I really think you should dance. And…not sing…"

Yugi agreed, "PLEASE don't sing!"

Anzu asked, "Why!"

Atem continued, "No offense…but…you're singing is horrible…"

Anzu then slapped Atem, who proceeded to say, "Owww…."

Anzu then yelled at him:

"How dare you say something so mean like that! I can't believe you! You're supposed to be nice PHARAOH!"

Yugi stated, "ANZU! He's not trying to be mean! He's just being honest. Atem…I think we have to…show her the tape."

Atem disagreed, "Uh…no we don't!"

"Well…how else is she going to believe us…?"

"Ugh, fine."

Anzu then went home with Yugi and Atem that day. They sat her down in front of the TV and Atem explained:

"Sorry…we couldn't help ourselves…we secretly filmed you last night…"

"YOU DID WHAT!"

"HEY! That's not the point! Just listen to how you sound!"

Atem then hit the play button on the VCR, which showed Anzu and she got to hear for herself her horrible singing voice. Atem conveniently stopped the tape before the private strip show however. By the end, Anzu was just stunned and starring blankly into space. Atem waved his hand in front of her and asked:

"Hey, are you okay…?"

Anzu commented, "I can't believe I sing that bad…"

Yugi apologized, "We're sorry Anzu. We just didn't want you to embarrass yourself in front of the whole school…"

"That's probably the sweetest thing someone's done for me…but you still were going behind my back by filming me. Wait a sec…what else did you film…"

Yugi and Atem exclaimed in unison, "NOTHING!"

"Oh, I don't think it's nothing. Let me see for myself…"

"NO!"

It was too late, for Anzu pressed the play button and saw the footage of her private strip tease. Anzu gave them the dirtiest of looks. Yugi then commented:

"Heh…at least you looked really cute! Heh-heh…"

"I've give you five seconds to run…"

Atem and Yugi then ran for their lives as Anzu in a burning rage chased after them.


	6. Gone to the Dogs

Chapter 7-Gone to the dogs:

On a random note, Kaiba, who was getting a lot of grief for his teddy bear and blankie incident, stated sorely:

"I need a new identity…"

Kaiba sat down and started to sip wine from a bottle. Kaiba commented:

"I can't even go out in public without people laughing at me."

Mokuba, who was also in the room, suggested:

"You should go goth."

"No…I tried that before. Remember…?"

Mokuba cringed at the sudden mental picture and stated:

"Nevermind. But…what about Jou? Is HE laughing at you?"

"Yeah! He just won't shut up about the teddy and blankie. Stupid mutt…I just wish he would die…"

Kaiba then thought:

"Stupid sexy mutt….I wish I could make you mine…."

Kaiba sighed and drank some more wine. Mokuba said:

"Well, instead of murdering him…why don't you ask him out?"

"WHAT!"

"Oh c'mon! It's SO obvious that you like him! Why else would I ask you that?"

"Damn…"

Kaiba then commented:

"I still need a new identity…"

After Kaiba was drowning his sorrows in a bottle of wine, he went to sleep. The next day, Mokuba was on the couch reading a manga book when he saw his brother walk by. Mokuba's mouth dropped and he exclaimed:

"SETO! WHAT ARE YOU WEARING!"

Kaiba didn't answer and walked out of the building. Mokuba commented:

"Okay…Seto has officially gone insane…"

Seto then met up with a certain Jounouchi. Jounouchi starred at him while Kaiba said:

"Yo, yo…I'm a gangsta…yo…where my dogs at? Bark with me if you're my dog…"

His attempts to sound gangsta where poor at best…he really did sound like a rich white boy trying to act black. Not that there IS such a thing, but okay. Kaiba was even DRESSED like a gangsta with the long chain bling, baggy jeans, baggy white tee, and a do rag. Jou busted out laughing and commented:

"Oh God, I wish Atem had a camera! THAT should be on Japan's Funniest Home Videos!"

"SHUT UP YOU DUMB MUTT! NOW BARK!"

Jou stated sarcastically, "Bark."

Kaiba gave him an evil glare. Jou asked:

"Why exactly are you doing this?"

"God man, what does it take to get you to notice me?

"Huh?"

Kaiba grabbed Jou and kissed him. Jou's eyes where in a very surprised what the hell look. Kaiba pulled away and stated:

"Do you get it now mutt? I love you. There. I said it. You happy now?"

"Is that why you're dressed like a gangsta?"

"Yes."

"Dude! All yah had to do was just say so!"

"Wear this…"

Kaiba put a little doggy collar on Jou. He then said:

"Now you really ARE my mutt!"

Kaiba then passionately kissed Jou. Atem and Yugi where coincidently walking by when they spied this make out session. Atem exclaimed:

"HOT DAMN!"

Yugi said, "Gay…."

"You say gay like it's a bad thing…I knew they would end up as a couple."

The two then looked over to see Atem and Yugi. Kaiba exclaimed:

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING! ARE YOU SPYING ON US!"

Atem asked, "Why are you wearing those strange clothes?"

"You know…I could ask you the same question…"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!"

They stared at each other with a burning glare. Yugi then asked Jou:

"Do you like Kaiba-kun?"

"Shit man, I was just waiting for him to make a move. He gave me a doggy collar, isn't that great? I don't like the idea of being someone's pet…except Kaiba's!"

Yugi stared at him and commented:

"Oh-kay…."

Yugi then went over to Kaiba and stated:

"Hi Moses…."

"What? Dude, it's just some dumb play…"

Atem commented, "Hey, do I get to blow him up in the play?"

"No Atem! It's really the other way around…"

"NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Kaiba coughed, "Rameses…"

"DO YOU WANT TO SAY THAT TO MY FACE!"

Jou commented, "I want a puppy…."

Everyone just stared at him and Kaiba stated:

"That was random mutt…"

"Not exactly. I am your mutt, right? Well…I want a puppy…"

Atem stated, "Damn! You have a sick mind! Do you realize that you can't even DO that with him!"

"So….? There's always adoption…."

"You're stupid…but in a good way…"

Yugi stated, "I don't get it."

Atem looked over to him and said:

"You are so innocent. I almost don't want to tell you. But okay, dogs have puppies right? Puppies are the dog equivalent of babies, right?"

"Right…?"

"So basically Jou is saying that he wants to have a baby by Kaiba…."

Yugi gave a wide eyed expression to Atem. Jou then stated:

"I could always change myself into a girl!"

"Retard…"

Kaiba commented, "You wouldn't just be my mutt…you would be my bitch!"

"Okay, never mind. I want to be a MAN!"

"Yo, yo. This is my dog. Bark with me dog."

"Bark."

Atem stated, "Can you lose the gangsta act Kaiba? You are horrible at it. I bet you're gonna suck as Moses…"

"You shut up!"

Yugi then watched at the world was going to the dogs.

Have any ideas for a funny scenario? Now accepting submissions for ideas! That would really help me, since it DOES take a lot to keep the funny coming! Have any ideas of what you would like to see? Submit them to me, and I will happily see them through!


	7. Oh, brother, where are thou head?

Author's Note: HEEEEELLLLOOO Readers! Thank you for all of the hilarious ideas. I want to thank femaleodd for the idea of this chapter. And don't worry, I will use all the other ideas in later chapters and am still accepting more ideas. Keep 'em coming, I love to hear from you guys! Plus, I don't have a life, and I just live to get reviews from everyone. Here's another pun for the chapter of the movie and book title, Oh Brother, where are thou? Enjoy!

Chapter 8-Oh, Brother, where are thou head?

Mokuba remembered seeing his brother drown his sorrows in liquor the other day. He wondered what it was like to drink achohol. So one day…when his brother Kaiba wasn't there to watch him, he got some wine of other the wine cabinet and thought:

"I wonder what this tastes like…"

He opened the bottle and drank some. He shook his head immediately at the taste and commented:

"Man…this stuff is horrible…"

He then tried beer, with he didn't like. He tried margaritas which he did like for the fruity tastes. Evenutally, he tried everything you can think of that would be in a wine cabinet or a bar or whatever. But…there was so much to try that even though Mokuba only took a sip of everything, he ended up undeniably drunk. He put the bottles back clumsily and bumped into the walls in a drunken stupor.

Somehow he found himself in Kaiba's room. Seto's pink teddy was sitting on the bed with his head sowed back on. Mokuba looked over at the teddy and stated:

"Shizuka!"

He then did an almost body slam on the teddy and hugged it. He stated:

"Man…you've gotten smaller than me! Cool!"

He then commented:

"I love you Shizuka…"

Mokuba then patted the chest of the teddy and commented:

"Man Shizuka…where did your lovely breasts go?"

Oh God…where was Atem with the camera when you needed it? But Mokuba started to strip in his drunken stupor and stated:

"C'mon Shizuka and sleep with me!"

WTF? Then…oh God…you wouldn't believe what Mokuba did next. He put the teddy under himself and raped it. Under the oh so wrong impression that this was Jou's sister. Okay, seriously, who gets pleasure out of humping a teddy bear? But Mokuba was undeniably drunk. So, he kept on forcing himself on the teddy and making love to it.

(Meanwhile…)

Kaiba came home from a long day at work as CEO of Kaiba Corp. But the good news was that he had a date with Jou tomorrow. So, everything was right with the world. Until he spotted his wine cabinet by chance and was distrubed. Mokuba had NEVER touched the cabinet before…maybe it was one of his workers…Curse them…

Kaiba didn't want to worry about it now. He just wanted to get some sleep after working so hard that day. But, he couldn't believe what he say when he walked into his room. Mokuba was friggin' humping his teddy bear! WTF? Kaiba's mouth just dropped to the ground. Mokuba moaned:

"Shizuka…shizuka…"

Then he knew in an instant who had distrubed his wine cabinet. Mokuba had to be drunk if he was under the oh so wrong impression he was making love to Shizuka. Seto lifted Mokuba off of the teddy and out of the room. He carried his naked brother into his room to sleep off the drunkened stupor alone. Seto then waited for Mokuba to wake up…

(Hours later…)

Mokuba groggidly woke up and saw that Seto was hovering over him. Mokuba asked:

"Seto…what happened? Why does my head hurt so much…?"

He then looked under the covers and commented:

"And WHY am I naked? Now I'm scared…"

Seto gave him a stern look and stated:

"Mokuba…why were you in my wine cabinet last night?"

"I was in your wine cabinet?"

"Oh God…that alcohol must've killed some brain cells! Mokuba…you got drunk last night…"

"I…did?"

"Yeah, and you probably have a hangover. But Mokuba…how many times did I tell you to NOT go in the wine cabinet…"

"I'm sorry Seto. I guess if I could remember myself doing that, it would be because…well…I just wanted to see what it tastes like."

"But don't DO this to me! I've been here for hours worrying about you! Plus…you…kinda…er…raped my teddy bear…"

"I DID WHAT!"

"I think in your drunken stupor you thought it was Shizuka…"

"Ah, Shizuka…"

Mokuba then went off into la la land thinking about Shizuka. Seto slapped him to snap him out of it. Seto exclaimed:

"Mokuba! This is serious! Now…unfortunately I can't think of a better way to punish you. I think the hangover is bad enough. But have to promise me never to go into my wine cabinet again."

"I promise Seto, and….I'm sorry…"

Mokuba gave a hug that made the CEO's cold heart melt. Almost like when Jou held him lol. Seto then stated:

"Now change into your pajamas and get some rest…"

Kaiba then walked out. He then went into his room and picked up the now slightly wet teddy. He stated:

"My teddy, my poor teddy…"

Seto then threw it in the wash and that was the end of that.


	8. King of Karaoke

Author's Note: I don't own the songs used in this chapter. It's supposed to be KARAOKE, which means I have to use other songs that exist. No suing, no deleting, no whatever. There are credits to the artist in this, so don't hate. Otherwise, enjoy!

Chapter 9: King of Karaoke:

The Yu-Gi-Oh gang all got together for a good round of karaoke. The various group members snickered to themselves as what they would present to the group. As the MC, they picked Anzu, just out of randomness. She listed the people who wanted to sing on a list. She announced:

"Well, first on the list is Yugi singing 'Blue by Eiffel 65!"

The group clapped as Yugi took the stage. He started to do the robot on the techno parts. He sung, almost implying that he was the blue one, but the group couldn't help but to laugh at his interoperation of the robot. Anzu, the expert of dance, found herself chuckling. When Yugi was done, Anzu called up the next member of the group. It just happened to be Shadi the Egyptian. Atem commented:

"Let me guess…you're going to sing, "Walk like an Egyptian" by the Bangles…"

Isis commented, "Um, actually I'm singing that song."

Anzu exclaimed, "Atem! Shadi's singing his own interoperation of 'The Real Slim Shady' by Eminem.

Shadi grabbed the mic and started:

"_May I have your attention please?_

_May I have your attention please?_

_Will the Real Slim Shadi please stand up?_

_I repeat, Will the Real Slim Shadi please stand up?_

_We're gonna have a problem here…_

_I'm Slim Shadi_

_Yes, I'm the real Shadi_

_I'm from Egypt and I like to party._

_So won't the real Slim Shadi please stand up?_

_Please stand up_

_Please stand up…."_

Atem hit him upside the head and exclaimed:

"Please shut up!"

He then said:

"No one's going to upstage me! I have one song that will knock all of your socks off! I will prove once and for all that I, Atem, am the king of karaoke!"

Atem pried the mic from Shadi's hand and started to sing I'm too Sexy by Right Said Fred:

"_I'm too sexy for my love._

_Too sexy for my love._

_Love's gonna leave me…"_

Atem then took off his shirt, causing all the women in the room to nosebleed. Atem then sung:

"_I'm too sexy for my shirt_

_Too sexy for my shirt_

_So sexy, it hurts…"_

Kaiba slapped Atem upside his head and exclaimed:

"Damn right it hurts! You know that I am the TRUE king of karaoke! Watch this!"

Kaiba started to sing 'My Way by Limp Bizkit, and Atem kept on stealing the mic from Kaiba to continue with singing, "I'm too sexy" by Right Said Fred. Anzu then took the mic from them and yelled:

"Stop it you two! Let Jou and Honda have a turn. They're gonna sing a song together."

Anzu pushed Atem and Kaiba off of the stage and Jounouchi and Honda took the mic and started to sing Baby got Back by obnoxiously:

"_We like big butts and we cannot lie!_

_You other brothers can't deny!_

_When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist_

_And a round thing in your face,_

_You get SPRUNG!"_

Anzu pushed them off of the stage and yelled:

"Sprung this!"

Unfortunately, Isis' solo of Walk like and Egyptian was left in the dust, and the girls had to admit that Atem's stunt of ripping his shirt off made him the King of Karaoke. They gave him the prize and tried not to nosebleed again, for Atem still hadn't put his shirt back on. Kaiba, out of jealousy, kept on trying to cover Atem with a sheet so that the women wouldn't be distracted. But when that didn't work, Kaiba ripped his shirt off and the nosebleeds came once again. Kaiba exclaimed:

"Behold! I'm too sexy for my shirt as well!"

He let out a laugh, and Atem hit Kaiba on the head again and stated:

"Put a sock in it."

Fortunately after that, all had a good time. Yay…

Tune in next time as Yugi and Atem try to capture footage for Japan's Funniest Home Videos and capture Kaiba doing something silly on film!


	9. I am your father or not

Author's Note: Sorry for not updating for a long time, but my internet crashed and it took two days to get it back up again. Thank you for your patience, and enjoy this goofy chappie!

Chapter 10-I am your father…or not…

Although Atem had his own embarrassing debut on Japan's Funniest Home Videos, he still hadn't given up on finding more hilarious footage for the show. He then wondered what Ryou would be capable of if he ever got drunk. So, he got the camera and put it in a bag and headed over to Ryou's apartment.

(Author's Note: In the manga of Yu-Gi-Oh, in issue #6 of the first set, it tells us that Ryou lives alone in an apartment since his yami made all the people he came in contact with go into a coma. So, not entirely random. If I have the manga book of a particular anime, I try to stay true to it.)

Atem knocked on the door and the white/platinum blond haired Brit appeared in the door. He greeted:

"Ah, Atem! Nice to see you!"

"I'm surprised that you can tell the difference between me and Yugi!"

"I can tell the difference, don't you worry."

Atem suggested, "Hey Ryou, you're a good Brit, right? Why don't you join me for a drink down at the…what's it called again…oh yeah, a pub…"

"I would very well like to, thank you."

"Yeah…so you know that I have no hard feelings about your yami."

"Right."

So, the two went down to one of the few British Pubs in Japan.

(Author's Note: In America, there are still 'British Pubs' so I think there may be a couple in random places in Japan. You have to realize that I don't live in Japan yet. I might move there eventually, but England also draws me in. Also, in countries such as France, the legal drinking age is much lower than the US, set at 16. I'm not sure what the legal drinking age is in Japan, but for this fic, it's around Atem and Ryou's age. I also have a theory that Ryou is much older than the others.)

The two sat down and immediately where offered something to drink before something to eat.

(Author's Note: Some British pubs also serve food like a restaurant. If you ever visit England like I have, you'll see what I mean.)

Atem stated, "How 'bout I pay for a drink for you…"

Ryou asked, "What 'bout you Atem?"

"Oh don't worry…I'll have my share of fun…believe me."

And, Ryou didn't notice after a while that he was the only one drinking. And, after consuming at least six shots of liquor Ryou was undeniably drunk. That's when Atem got out the camera and started to film. Ryou was giddy and laughing to himself and Atem commented:

"Even MORE gold!"

Ryou looked at Atem groggily and asked:

"Are you Darth Vader."

Although Atem collapsed at the statement, he somehow managed to capture that statement on film. Atem got up and started to laugh. He stated:

"I know I have a deep voice, but I am NOTHING like Darth Vader…"

"But…you ARE Darth Vader! I would know that voice anywhere!"

"Alright…I'll humor you for the camera. I…am you father!"

Ryou's eyes lit up and he stated:

"You are…?"

Atem commented, "What are you thinking?"

Ryou threw his arms around Atem and exclaimed:

"Daddy! I'm so glad I found you"

Atem stated while trying to push Ryou off, "Get off of me! You are absolutely drunk!'

"Can you buy me a toy daddy?"

"Hell no!"

"Wait…my father is Darth Vader? NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Idiot."

Atem took the camera that was now on the floor and put the tape in the garbage. Atem then put the camera in the bag and paid for the tab. Ryou, who was still in a drunken stupor, had to be taken back to his apartment by a very angry Atem. Ryou acted like an eight year old in his drunken stupor and was fully convinced that Atem was Darth Vader and his father. Ryou spoke:

"Can you show me your lightsaber?"

"Hello you idiot? It's just a movie! God, you're stupid."

"Hey, I like God! She's pretty!"

Atem slapped himself on the face. Ryou then started to sing:

"_Jesus loves me, yes I know!_

_For the bible tells me so!"_

Atem stated:

"You're crazy…"

Ryou then asked randomly:

"Is Anzu my mommy?"

Atem then gave Ryou the dirtiest look. Atem then stated:

"Screw you….plus, I like Yugi-chan…but not like that…I hope…"

"What's a screw?"

Atem seethed with anger and exclaimed:

"You keep it up and you'll find out what a screw is!"

Ryou's eyes teared up and he wailed:

"MY DADDY DOESN'T LOOK ME!"

Atem slapped himself on the face again and stated:

"Would you do me a favor and PLEASE be quite…"

"Do you believe in Jesus?"

"What?"

"Do you want to sing the fun song?"

"Huh?"

"_F is for friends who do stuff together!_

_U is for you and me!_

_N is for anything and anytime at all!"_

(Author's Note: This is the Fun Song from Spongebob Squarepants. Since it mainly pertains to a younger audience and Ryou's acting like a child, it seems natural that he would sing this song.)

Atem hit Ryou upside the head, knocking him unconscious. Atem then dragged Ryou to his apartment and laid him on the couch. Atem walked away, learning a very important lesson: Never get Ryou drunk.


End file.
